[ to-do list ]

[comesfrompain]

1) Put Rogers' head on a spike
2) Take over Hell
3) Unbreak Bucky's dick
4) Buy milk

Comments

text; un: crossbones

[comesfrompain]

Chicken butt.

[onteamdyson]

no. good guess. what are you 12?
you're like...
my fave person to cuddle

im
v drunk

[comesfrompain]

Yep, that's me. Resident 12 year old.

[A few moments later.]

Need me to come pick you up?

[onteamdyson]

except ur the oldest

why? for cuddling. or. im just hnaging out at work so
i dont need you to but
i want you to? i would like. that. imiss your face

[comesfrompain]

[Is it a paradox if old jokes never get old?]

You wanna cuddle at work?

[onteamdyson]

NO imean. if you're coming here we can just go home
to ur house i mean
basically its home

[She spends more time there than her own apartment some days. They have better food. AND A DOG!]

idk this is totes unfair because i keep wordvommitting things and youre not even saying thigns back

[comesfrompain]

All right, I'm coming to get you.

[Before she word-vomits something she'll regret. More. Jesus.]

What do you want me to say, anyway?

[onteamdyson]

imgonna wait here
WOW RUMLOW I CANT TELL YOU WHAT I WANT YOU TO SAY
then ur just saying what i
want you to say and not
what you wanna say to me and tahts
basically lying
cuz its what i wanna hear
obvi
shit why did i have to school that n99b at shots

[comesfrompain]

I'm your favorite person to cuddle, hunh?

[onteamdyson]

I take it back now because ur making fun of me

[comesfrompain]

I'm not, I'm asking honestly. Not a lot of people would say that. I mean, to me.

[onteamdyson]

SRSLY?
yeah. you are. youre super warm and you smell good
and your arms are like
woah
so hugs are the best
and its just nice you know
when im super sad ur the first person i wanna call

[comesfrompain]

You're real sweet, Kenzi. You doing okay?

[onteamdyson]

me? im FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
so fine.

[She's smashed out of her mind after her shift and is sitting at the end of the bar, texting Rumlow about missing his face. She's kind of not fine.]

I just dont wanna go home alone?

[comesfrompain]

I get it. Well, I'll be there soon. We can keep texting though.

[onteamdyson]

we're friends, right? You and me? It's not just about my butt or your abs. We're similar

[comesfrompain]

Of course we're friends. I mean, you do have a nice butt, and my abs are the best thing since sliced bread, but yeah.

[onteamdyson]

your abs could probably slice bread tbh
you wouldnt be coming to get me if we werent friends
and i wouldnt have texted you in the first place probs
you're kinda important to me, Rumlow
just kinda
dont let ur ego inflate and take over the city

[comesfrompain]

But what if that's part of my master plan?

[A few seconds later.]

But thanks. Kinda.

[onteamdyson]

you're kinda welcome <3
also you dont need to inflate your ego for that because you have me and im super good at taking things

[comesfrompain]

Yeah you are.

[That's not subtle innuendo at all.]

[onteamdyson]

.............. i cant even with you right now o m g rumlow MIND OUT OF GUTTER
IMTOO drunk to handle ur pervy brain
dork

[comesfrompain]

Hahah, but you're smiling, yeah?

[onteamdyson]

[Dammit, he's onto her. He knows her too well! She's grinning from ear to freakin' ear.]

ok smartass so what if i am? mission accomplished?

[comesfrompain]

Not until I've exfiltrated you from your location.