comesfrompain | [ to-do list ]

Rollins?

[He considered the question very seriously, but there were no faces that came to mind. He was allowed to associate with very few individuals when he was awake for HYDRA and most of those blurred together. Soon enough, they would be wiped away. He could recall the STRIKE logo and jackets but the faces of the men and women working on it... they eluded him.

He shifted, a bit restless but from frustration at his limitations. He settled into the hair petting, letting it distract him as his wing continued to caress Rumlow's skin.]

...you were lovers then?

I guess. I didn't love Jack. Cared about him as a friend and a partner for STRIKE, but nothing like I have with you.

[He could see Bucky's frustration, though whether that was due to him not recognizing the person mentioned or some strange idea that Rumlow ought to have had past lovers whom he actually loved, he didn't know. Rumlow's brows furrowed and he drew Bucky up into a kiss. He let it linger, lengthen from one to two and three slow, deep kisses.

When he pulled back, he nudged at Bucky's cheek with his nose.]

Didn't have a lot of room to love people when I was younger. And HYDRA, well. They didn't encourage that kinda attachment.

[That sounded an awful lot like friends with benefits again, hallmarking that somehow he had pulled Rumlow into something far beyond what his commander had had with anyone else so far. That he was so unique was both daunting and pleasing, thinking that he had bridged territory Rumlow had never been in before.

He leaned into the kisses, rolling more onto one hip so he could drop a hand on the bed on Rumlow's other side. He kissed back with long strokes of his tongue, moaning and cuddling up against his lover's side. The kisses calmed him again, and he hovered half-over Rumlow once they were finished, leaning into the nudge to his cheek. He replied with rubbing his chin on Rumlow's for the rasp of stubble.]

It never makes sense to me how you have with me what you never have with them. I just... like to think someone made you happy and feel lo-- [The word, as always, was choked off as his throat closed on it reflexively. He made a soft gagging noise and promptly dropped his head on Rumlow's shoulder. Someday, he would break that programming over any other.]

[There it was again. That trigger reflex HYDRA had on him, stopping Bucky from even mentioning the word. He hadn't even prefaced it with I. Rumlow tried not to frown, knowing it would only discourage Bucky, despite the intention being towards HYDRA rather than him. He shifted over to kiss him again, running his hands through Bucky's hair.]

Hey. Doesn't gotta make sense. I don't dwell on my past, and neither should you. Whatever happened then's got no bearing on how I feel about you now.

[Rumlow didn't need Bucky to hold himself to some unknown standard or whatever it was he was trying for. What was there now was more important than anything else.]

[He leaned into the kiss, needing the assurance that he wasn't disappointing Rumlow again. Whatever he had had with Natalia had long lasting and trouble effects on him even now, but the fact that he had such limitations were highly bothersome when he knew Rumlow needed to hear it.

Action might speak louder than words, but the exchange of those words was important. It reminded him how broken he was, how he might never be whole.]

You deserve to feel this strongly for someone after so long not. Everyone should experience it.

[They were still a right mess of come, sweat and blood, but he shifted to lay over Rumlow anyway. He tangled his fingers in his lover's hair and kissed all over Rumlow's face and then neck, sucking a hickey in just behind one of his lover's ears and blanketing them both with his wings.]

I'll be whatever you need.

[Tilting his head back as Bucky's mouth found a place at his neck, he sighed in contentment, reveling in the affection. Such a foreign thing long ago, he now indulged nigh excessively in their obvious love. Even if Bucky couldn't say it, Rumlow knew.]

Be this. Be here.

[Rumlow replied, arms wrapping around Bucky as he settled his weight atop him. His tail had disengaged from Bucky's arm long ago and now slithered around his thigh to complete the embrace.]

That's all I need.

I will.

[This was what he needed, what they both needed it seemed. He settled into the embrace, offering it back and basking in the unadulterated care that they had for each other. If this what eternal punishment, he would serve to have this for the rest of his known days.

He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Rumlow's, humming a low sound. Content, happy even, he cuddled down and was set to stay for the time being.]

I'm still going to fuck your brains out the rest of the night regardless. [And so he would... after they finished cuddling.]

[ to-do list ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject