[Was there a better? What was beyond HYDRA because HYDRA was constantly changing, constantly improving, constantly morphing into what the world needed most? Wasn't that how it worked? Wasn't that why the organization had dug so deep, put so much into him and their agents on the ground? It never was static because the world was never one single thing, but a mosaic of destruction, selfishness and greed. That's why they had sacrificed so much, to force the world to a point of willingly offering up its freedom so that it could finally be secure, could finally have order.

The claws of his programming bit in, always resistant to treacherous thoughts that might lead him away from the purpose he had been created for. It hurt to resist, but he did anyway because the pain was clouding his mind as it was and only the brief bursts of Rumlow's words managed to penetrate, gave him something to latch onto even if it was brief. It hurt, and the more that it did, the more he wanted more pain because it was so familiar.

He stared at Rumlow, his metal fingers twitching on the table now that his fist had opened again.]

I'm not... as strong as you are. [It was whispered loud enough that he knew Rumlow could hear over the loudness of the pub.] I can't... walk away. I'm nothing without what HYDRA put in my head... and you control it. You broke free, but I can't go. Do you understand? [He tapped his temple with a finger, looking lost, feeling torn open.]

It's in my head. Words. Orders. You have a life; you have memories; you could be something more, but I can't. You're free; HYDRA never abandoned you.

[He picked up a glass shard between his metal fingers, turning it over without even thinking about it.]

You outgrew HYDRA....