[ to-do list ]

[comesfrompain]

1) Put Rogers' head on a spike
2) Take over Hell
3) Unbreak Bucky's dick
4) Buy milk

Comments

text; un: mynameisjefferson

[royalpassport]

hello mr rumlow
would you consider yourself a fashionable man?

text; un: crossbones

[comesfrompain]

[First of all. Where the fuck does he get off calling him mister? Second, who fucking asks that out of the blue? Jefferson, obviously.]

Just Rumlow. And I guess that depends on what you mean by fashionable. Like, how I dress personally or my understanding of fashion?

[royalpassport]

ok
rumlow
the latter

[comesfrompain]

Yes.

[royalpassport]

wonderful
then perhaps you can tell me what a woman (my age) might find fashionable in a man (also my age) from your world

[ He has to specify age because, well. You're old, and he doesn't want to be held to old guy fashion standards. ]

[comesfrompain]

[You're literally a fucking moron if you think that was stealthy, Jefferson. Also an idiot if you think age limits fashion when you've got a body like Rumlow's. But please, continue to underestimate him.]

Depends on the look you're going for. Everyone's got a different taste in fashion.

[royalpassport]

[ HE'S NOT TRYING TO BE STEALTHY, GRANDPA. ]

i don't really know yet
i've noticed these trends
✖ leather
✖ scarves, ascots, or cravats
✔ jeans
✔ plaid (???)

[comesfrompain]

[Please, he's in better shape than you are.]

Jeans and plaid? What like, grunge?

[royalpassport]

[ Hey, some people like skinny noodle men.

PEOPLE. LIKE. KENZI. ]

i don't know?

[comesfrompain]

[Yeah, but she also still drools over his muscles every single time she sees them, so.]

Let me throw some pictures up, hold on.

[A few minutes later, there are an assortment of attachments sent. 1 2 3]

Grunge. Though you'd have to go without the jacket in the first picture.

[royalpassport]

[ R E C O I L S ]

what about
say...
fashion where your clothes aren't disheveled and damaged and
what's the word i'm looking for

unpresentable?

[comesfrompain]

Well, if you look at the word grunge, it sort of speaks for itself. So you want something crisp?

[royalpassport]

crisp
yeah
that sounds better

[comesfrompain]

And probably cooler, temperature wise. Less layers.

[More attachments arrive! 1 2 3]

Shorts for the weather, y'know.

[royalpassport]

shorts?
no
i don't think half-trousers will do at all

[comesfrompain]

Just trying to keep you from sweating through so many layers. I know you like them but it seems like the girl's trying to get you to loosen up on them. How about this then?

[A few more attachments. 1 2 3]

It wasn't easy finding this shit without a leather jacket blocking half of it.

[royalpassport]

oh she didn't ask for this
i'm doing it to surprise her

those outfits are better
(and the man in the first picture too)
i think she'd like that
now i have an idea of which way to go
thanks
:)

[comesfrompain]

[Rumlow's brows lift. Oh? This is almost worth not sabotaging him. What will he do with this information...]

Sure. Heh. He your type?

[royalpassport]

much more than the rest of the men you shared
all too effete or too [ GROSS AND UNWASHED. ] 'grunge'

[comesfrompain]

[Rumlow scrubs at his stubble as he reads.]

So you like something in the middle, hunh?

[royalpassport]

i guess

[ INSERT SHRUG EMOJI. ]

the middle covers all sorts of people
so sure
why do you ask?

[comesfrompain]

Liking guys and girls both ain't super common where I come from, so I was curious if your taste in men was like your taste in women.

[royalpassport]

it's not all that common in my land, either

[ But he's used to being a bit 'odd' by Enchanted Forest standards, so. ANOTHER SHRUG. Not that Rumlow can see him shrug. ]

there are some similarities, i suppose
and some differences

[comesfrompain]

Yeah? Like what?

[royalpassport]

well
for starters
most women can't grow beards

[ HE LIKES HIS LADIES SMOOTH AND HIS GENTLEMEN BEARDY. ]